Pig Latin

i ovelay odedcay anguageslay, erscyphay, uzzlespay, andyay everythingyay otay oday ithway eorganizingray anguagelay. iyay ovelay egyptianyay ieroglyphshay, ethay itingwray andyay umbersnay omfray ethay ayanmay ulturecay, andyay ethay arvendway unesray ofyay ethay olkientay ooksbay. i’m alwaysyay ookinglay orfay aysway otay incorporateyay anguagelay anslationstray intoyay ymay oriesstay, ebay emthay ooksbay oryay ungeonsday andyay agonsdray adventuresyay, andyay iyay amyay ascinatedfay ybay ethay ideayay ofyay onceptscay andyay efinitionsday atthay oday otnay anslatetray omfray oneyay anguagelay otay anotheryay eryvay ellway. it’s alwaysyay amazingyay otay emay enwhay omeonesay ayssay atthay erethay isyay onay ordway orfay atthay inyay ouryay anguagelay, ateverwhay ethay onceptcay. iyay avehay eenbay ownknay otay eatecray ercyphay uzzlespay orfay oleray ayingplay amegay amersgay atthay ooktay upyay ethay entireyay essionsay. iyay illway avehay otay ememberray inyay ethay uturefay otnay otay akemay emthay atthay omplicatedcay. 

llay atthay aidsay iyay inkthay erethay isyay efinitelyday oomray orfay anyay insaneyay anguagelay atthay oundssay aguelyvay atinlay ikelay inyay ethay orldway. omesay ofyay ethay estbay usesyay iyay avehay everyay eensay isyay atthay ofyay iblingssay owhay useyay ethay anguagelay asyay ayay ayway otay alktay acksmay aboutyay eirthay iendsfray andyay arentspay inyay ontfray ofyay emthay. ayay avvysay arentpay ightmay ebay ableyay otay engageyay eirthay ainbray onglay enoughyay otay akemay ityay akemay ensesay, andyay igurefay ityay outyay, utbay ymay etbay isyay atthay atwhay illway actuallyyay appenhay isyay atthay eirthay ainbray illway engageyay, enthay ilewhay ebatingday ethay aluevay ofyay anslationtray, orgetfay atwhay asway aidsay. iyay inkthay isthay ustmay ebay usedyay inyay ayay ookbay ofyay inemay. orfay omesay easonray i’m inkingthay iratespay owhay useyay ityay. iyay didn’t aysay ityay ademay ensesay. 

niay ethay effortyay ofyay akingmay isthay entryyay ayay ittlelay oremay engthylay, erehay areyay ayay ouplecay ittlelay excerptsyay omfray ayay ovelnay atthay isyay illstay inyay ethay orksway. esethay areyay ustjay etchesskay. 

ancynay ovedshay ethay ittlelay eykay intoyay ethay ocklay . ityay idslay inyay ithway ayay atisfyingsay unkthay. eshay urnedtay ityay andyay istenedlay asyay ethay umblerstay olledray. ityay idn’tday oundsay ikelay ethay istingtway etalmay ofyay ayay eykay openingyay ayay implesay echanicalmay ocklay. atwhay ancynay eardhay asway ethay ockingray umbletay ofyay ayay eatgray onestay onyay ethay otheryay idesay ofyay ethay oorday. eshay ouldcay eelfay ethay oorflay embletray aroundyay erhay andyay enthay eshay , eltfay oremay anthay eardhay, ifteenfay allersmay icksclay openyay inyay ayay irclecay ehindbay ethay etalmay aragegay oorday inyay ontfray ofyay erhay. eshay onderedway ifyay erethay ereway ittlelay izardsway ackbay erethay oingday allyay atthay , enthay oneyay inyay ethay iddlemay ickedclay ehindbay ityay atyay aboutyay nancy’s eyeyay. . . 

rancisfay ulledpay ayay andway omfray omewheresay, andyay avedway ityay overyay erhay auldronscay afteryay eamingscray irstfay andyay uckingday underyay erhay abletay. eshay amecay upyay ithway ayay intglay inyay erhay eyeyay, andyay eganbay otay eakspay ayay eriessay ofyay enchfray, anishspay, andyay atinlay ordsway atthay idn’tday akemay ensesay ogethertay. omeonesay ersedvay inyay esethay anguageslay, anslatingtray ityay allyay intoyay englishyay, ityay oundedsay omethingsay ikelay “i’m oinggay otay eatyay ouryay offeecay upcay afteryay iyay itspay outyay ouryay apocalypticyay ansistortray adioray artspay atthay i’veyay eenbay igestingday orfay ethay astlay eethray ousandthay earsyay inyay ethay ellybay ofyay ymay otherbray amsay, owhay isyay erfectlypay understandingyay aboutyay isthay, utbay alsoyay uiteqay icksay ofyay emay, ankthay ouyay eryvay uchmay !” otaltay onsensenay, allyay ixedmay upyay anguageslay, utbay eythay amecay oughthray ikelay atthay orfay ackzay, adyay otay ayay ertaincay extentyay orfay ancynay asyay eshay eaptlay intoyay ethay oomray. 

verythingeay asway eanclay. everythingyay asway emptyyay . ethay ivinglay oomray ouldcay eesay ethay itchenkay, andyay ayay ooknay erethay orfay ayay itchenkay abletay. istatray asway attlingray offyay ayay ielspay aboutyay openyay onceptcay itchenskay , andyay ancisfray asway aydreamingday aboutyay ippingray ista’stray eadhay offyay andyay atchingway erhay oodblay illspay allyay overyay ethay oorflay. insteadyay ofyay actingyay onyay ityay, eshay iledsmay idday ayay otlay ofyay oddingnay, andyay agreeingyay, evenyay omplementingcay ethay ousehay onyay avinghay eatgray abinetscay. eshay ikedlay ethay olorcay, andyay erethay asway entyplay ofyay ountercay acespay orfay akingmay ookiescay, oryay erformingpay arkday itualsray…

Unfay ightray ? 

Fiay ouyay otgay isthay arfay odaytay , odgay essblay ouyay. 

Because I’m not Bananas

Here’s a translation

I love coded languages, cyphers, puzzles, and everything to do with reorganizing language. I love Egyptian hieroglyphs, the writing and numbers from the Mayan culture, and the Dwarven runes of the Tolkien books. I’m always looking for ways to incorporate language translations into my stories, be them books or Dungeons and Dragons adventures, and I am fascinated by the idea of concepts and definitions that do not translate from one language to another very well. It’s always amazing to me when someone says that there is no word for that in your language, whatever the concept. I have been known to create cypher puzzles for role playing game gamers that took up the entire session. I will have to remember in the future not to make them that complicated. 

All that said I think there is definitely room for an insane language that sounds vaguely Latin like in the world. Some of the best uses I have ever seen is that of siblings who use the language as a way to talk smack about their friends and parents in front of them. A savvy parent might be able to engage their brain long enough to make it make sense, and figure it out, but my bet is that what will actually happen is that their brain will engage, then while debating the value of translation, forget what was said. I think this must be used in a book of mine. For some reason I’m thinking pirates who use it. I didn’t say it made sense. 

In the effort of making this entry a little more lengthy, here are a couple little excerpts from a novel that is still in the works. These are just sketches. 

Nancy shoved the little key into the lock. It slid in with a satisfying thunk. She turned it and listened as the tumblers rolled. It didn’t sound like the twisting metal of a key opening a simple mechanical lock. What Nancy heard was the rocking tumble of a great stone on the other side of the door. She could feel the floor tremble around her and then she, felt more than heard, fifteen smaller clicks open in a circle behind the metal garage door in front of her. She wondered if there were little wizards back there doing all that, then one in the middle clicked behind it at about Nancy’s eye…

Francis pulled a wand from somewhere, and waved it over her cauldrons after screaming first and ducking under her table. She came up with a glint in her eye, and began to speak a series of French, Spanish, and Latin words that didn’t make sense together. Someone versed in these languages, translating it all into English, it sounded something like “I’m going to eat your coffee cup after I spit out your apocalyptic transistor radio parts that I’ve been digesting for the last three thousand years in the belly of my brother Sam, who is perfectly understanding about this, but also quite sick of me, thank you very much!” Total nonsense, all mixed up languages, but they came through like that for Zack, ad to a certain extent for Nancy as she leapt into the room…

Everything was clean. Everything was empty. The living room could see the kitchen, and a nook there for a kitchen table. Trista was rattling off a spiel about open concept kitchens, and Francis was daydreaming about ripping Trista’s head off and watching her blood spill all over the floor. Instead of acting on it, she smiled did a lot of nodding, and agreeing, even complementing the house on having great cabinets. She liked the color, and there was plenty of counter space for making cookies, or performing dark rituals…

Fun right?

If you got this far today, God bless you.

Food for Thought


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